User ID and Password Please

Passwords place quite a demand on our memorization skills, especially if you are a member of Corporate America. The first thing I have to do in the morning when I arrive to my gorgeous government grey non-descript cubicle is log in. First the computer; user id and password. Now it's my phone powered by Cisco Networks; user id and password. Oh wait, I have voicemail, let me check my messages; user id and password. Before I've even had time to sneak in a sip of vodka from my bottom cabinet, I have three user id's and three passwords plugged in. And that's just the beginning.

The number of PINs, passwords, and user id's increase exponentially if you have access to the internet. Yahoo email, Google email, Shutterfly, Clark Photo, Snapfish, online banking, and checking up on the underperforming 401K plan. To add insult to injury, our company has PeopleSoft which has even more "access rights" for end-users; want to forecast vacation...type in your password, want to find out about your W-2's...type in your password, want to use the restroom...type in your password. Not to mention memorizing the non-internet associated ATM PIN and accessing voicemail through home and cell. Hell, I even have a user id and password for creating this blog. Fortunately for me, any hacker would fall asleep at the keyboard while reading my blog before gaining access to it.

I have approximately twenty user id's and passwords on a daily basis. Twenty variations of case-sensitive characters and stand alone numbers just to technologically function throughout the working day. And to make matters worse, the latest craze in keeping websites, cell phones, and computers "hacker safe" is to force the end-user to change passwords after a certain amount of time has transpired from the creation of the previous password. Once the muscle memory in your fingertips becomes accustomed to "Boraxo69GO", it's time to switch it up all over again.

The final kicker is HAL 9000 telling us not to write down passwords. Please memorize them. Domo arigato but no domo arigato Mr. Roboto, I have enough problems trying to remember where I put my keys and wallet, I'm writing my passwords down.