Auld Lang-ziety

I have been consistently employed for the past 30 years.  I started as a bus boy at the Denny’s on Route 1 in Alexandria, VA. The 5:30PM to 11:30PM shift for five days a week. Six hours of straight work came with a free meal. The short order cook named Marcus (who smoked copious amounts of weed) would always have "Moons Over My Hammy" waiting for me at the end of my shift. I made sure he never ran out of plates when the restaurant was slammed with hungry drunks. I worked there 30 hours a week and he was the only one who regularly called me by my first name. To most, I was the invisible bus boy. Marcus would hit the bell with his spatula and call my name when my food was ready. It was the first time I ever felt appreciated for my sweat equity. The paychecks were small but the feeling was large and the food was free.

Good work, CJ. You can have some of my medicinal brownies next.

That was the summer of 1985. Many career changes have happened since. But as of right now, for the first time in my life, I'm scared to find a new job.

Job-hunting at the age of 45 is intimidating.The challenge is not related to finding a job, it is about the stress of finding the right job. Once mid-life hits, the stakes are high. I don't want to buy a Corvette and get a divorce, I want a new career.


What's the big deal? It's just a car.

Due diligence is imperative to ensure the next move lands on bedrock instead of quicksand. Looking back, it was a slow progression to arrive here.

• Ages 15 to 22. All I wanted was extra change. Spending money for clothes and gas for the car. My horizon was the next two weeks. During these years I was a bus boy, I waxed and buffed floors, and worked in food service at Mount Vernon Hospital. I even cut grass on Fort Belvoir military base with workers on furlough from Lorton prison. After each summer ended, I always had the luxury of walking away.
• Mid-20's. A college degree now. Interviews. Salary instead of hourly. But youth is wasted on the young. Despite landing a great job I saved up a few paychecks and eventually quit. No plan. Just knew that I was not interested anymore.
• Late 20’s. A career starts to form whether voluntary or not. I learned what I was good at and what I liked and that sometimes the two were mutually exclusive. I also learned two career limiting actions 1) my excessive enjoyment of happy hours and 2) saying, "that's not my job."

So I booze a little. Shoot me.

• Early 30’s. Life settles in--fast. Marriage. Kids. Mortgage. Voluntarily locked in. The career becomes a centerpiece. How good am I at what I do? No more half-assed work products in hopes that senior management would correct my mistakes. Own it. Working beyond my job description.
• Late 30’s. Moving up with enough tenure to manage large scale projects and groups. People are actually listening to what I have to say. My input is no longer patronized, it is necessary. Skipping happy hours in lieu of work.
• Early 40’s. Instead of swiveling my head in a conference room looking for someone with an answer it turns out everyone is looking for an answer from me. Did someone call me a "thought leader". Ugh.
• Mid 40’s. TBD.

Just one thing, CJ. Go out and find it you jackass.

It is difficult to conjure other careers after being employed at one place for so long. My 'anything is possible' attitude has been downgraded to 'these are my limited options.' Mistakes are allowed in youth, I made plenty of them. Now? Not so much. Retirement is no longer a word, it is a reality. What was once abstract is now concrete. I have to squeeze all the risk I can out of my job search. There is another Marcus waiting for me, he is ready to ring the bell once the job is done right. Moons Over My Hammy sounds pretty good right about now.